She told me shopping was her heroin and her credit card was her needle. A recovering addict and a man who has watched money go wrong since 1994 answer the same question, separately.
The connection you make between hiding and the progression of both addiction and financial crisis landed with me. In recovery, I learned how much energy goes into protecting the very thing that is destroying you. Shame says, “Keep this hidden until you can fix it yourself,” which usually guarantees deeper isolation. I also appreciate your distinction between addressing the consequences and getting underneath the behavior that keeps producing them. Recovery eventually asks for far more than damage control.
A hard thing to transfer knowledge about is that you are not your debt. Your debt is math, but all that stuff running around your head is emotion. It reminded me of a post I wrote in 2010. https://getoutofdebt.org/5565/you-aint-your-fucking-debt
Thank you for the idea Steve! This was a lot of fun to do together
The connection you make between hiding and the progression of both addiction and financial crisis landed with me. In recovery, I learned how much energy goes into protecting the very thing that is destroying you. Shame says, “Keep this hidden until you can fix it yourself,” which usually guarantees deeper isolation. I also appreciate your distinction between addressing the consequences and getting underneath the behavior that keeps producing them. Recovery eventually asks for far more than damage control.
A hard thing to transfer knowledge about is that you are not your debt. Your debt is math, but all that stuff running around your head is emotion. It reminded me of a post I wrote in 2010. https://getoutofdebt.org/5565/you-aint-your-fucking-debt
I love the optimism in this post! Thank you for sharing this.
I see myself completely in Greg’s story.
In my 20s, I blew a lot of money on partying.
Juggling 2 or 3 jobs at once, I felt I "deserved" to unwind, but underneath I just felt frustrated and left behind.
The turning point was moving to Hong Kong.
Working as a waiter, I discovered the financial world and realized money could work harder than me.
Something clicked.
Suddenly, partying wasn't worth it anymore when I realized a bar bill represented weeks of wiping tables.
Today, I am financially independent through a rental property and a dual-mandate portfolio.
But here is the ironic twist:
now I find myself addicted to optimizing the numbers instead of enjoying the system I built.
Luckily, my wife rings the bell to remind me to enjoy life.
Money has no value unless it is spent on real life and memories.
Wealth on a screen doesn't mean a wealthier life.
We have to optimize for living.
Thanks for a great post!
What an awesome life experience. I always say there is no sense wasting a perfectly good mistake and you didn’t.
If you don't learn from them, they're just expensive hangovers.
Now I just need to learn how to turn off the spreadsheets!
Thank you for sharing man! Those spreadsheets can be so addicting. I'm 3 years "sober" from optimizing
Budgets suck.